I’m sorry, I’m so awful at being consistent with this blog, I’ve just been having a tough couple of weeks; months, if we’re being completely honest and vulnerable here.
This past Friday, officially marked my one year since graduating from college. Honestly, I thought I would be better off right now. With that being said, I have solidified some friendships with girls that I’ve grown to admire and is constantly in awe of their beauty but career-wise and financially, I feel frustrated and hopeless. I’m still struggling at the same dead-end retail job I had in school. I’m still making the same paycheck I did a year ago but the job has become more and more strenuous on my health, body, and mind.
I want to quit so bad. I could cry.
Maybe it’s the job or maybe it’s just me being less naive but people are shit. They can say the cruelest of words to you and not even bat an eyelash. It makes me so mad that I’m still hung up on the same friendships with those who have burned me so bad. This may just seem like a 20-something-year-old that’s having a post grad crisis (which it is most definitely) who’s playing victim (pity party for one and I’m the only one invited) but I’m so incredibly hurt by all of it still. All I ever wanted was an apology and over the course of the past few weeks, I’m finally coming to the realization that 1) I don’t think I’ll ever get that apology and 2) I probably won’t ever be friends with these people ever again.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that I’m sad. I’m very sad actually but I know this isn’t forever. I know I won’t feel this down forever and that is something that gives me hope.
Gah, I just want to eat my emotions and go for a walk on the beach.
Massachusetts has also forgotten what sunshine and warmth is. Come on, it’s June, we have to get it together for me and my translucent skin.
All the best,