It just feels different.

It’s been almost seven months since I’ve sat down to write anything.

I was weeks away from turning twenty-three and now I am, twenty-three.  Everything in my life is very much the same.  However, it feels completely different all at the same time.  I would say I feel different, as well but I’m not entirely convinced, I do.

All my dreams and aspirations have all remained the same.  Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve accomplished anything in the last seven months to work on these dreams and that’s on me.  Fear is so paralyzing, I’ll tell you.

So I hit pause on my life for a few months.  I think I’m ready to press play again though.

This new year feels different from any other year thus far.  I think it’s because I know it’ll be different, whether I’m ready for it or not.  Dare I say, this will be “my year”.  If you didn’t know, every New Year’s Eve, I always write myself a letter about how my year went and what I want to accomplish leading up to the New Year.  Although, a part of me this year wanted to keep up that same tradition, I didn’t.  There was no reflecting and no list making.  The beginning of the year was actually a little chaotic but it’s slowed down a bit since then and I’ve been able to reflect, since.

Cheers to 2018! Cheers to no strings attached!

Over the years, I’ve worried and taken care of everyone but myself.  I don’t regret those years and I don’t think I’ll ever stop caring but I’ve became very battered in my most recent days.

It’s time to heal.

 

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