HELLO MY BLOGGER FRIENDS!
I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this.
To be honest, I really didn’t know whether or not if I’ll ever start back up, again. Truly, I was uninspired, let down, and completely lost about all aspects of my life. Honestly, this year, 2018, has been one heck of a rollercoaster. I find it hard to label it as one of my worst because it has taught me so much. How can something that has taught you so much be the worst thing that could have happened? It can’t possibly. That’s what I’ll keep telling myself, anyways.
Truly, I have cried so much this past year. I’ve been joking with my friends that I can’t believe it’s actually possible for this much liquid to come out of someone’s eyes. I suppose its better than the alternative; dry eyes. My mom has dry eyes and it seems to cause her quite the inconvenience and discomfort.
Alright, I’m rambling now but my fingers keep moving and I’m still typing.
SO much has happened since my last blog post. I can’t even remember what I wrote in that post but remembering how stagnant my life was I’m pretty sure I was complaining about everything, sad about everyone and everything, and simply a little more lost than I am, today. You see, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll always be lost. Perhaps, sometimes I’ll be more content to not know where I’m going but for right now, being lost still causes me to hold my breath and lose sleep.
It’s so crazy to think about where I was a year ago. You know what’s even crazier? Where I was six months ago or TWO week ago. I’m in a completely different headspace to where I was before. It was looking real foggy. I couldn’t see too far away from me. I could only see what was in front of me. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Now we’re here. It’s 11:34pm on the 13th of December. Where to begin?
Remember that job at the mall that I was at for almost five years? Well, they let me go at the end of July. I won’t go into details. 1) Since I’ve been applying to different places, I learned quickly that talking about your former place of employment is frowned upon (WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN). 2) It still causes me a lot of pain. Like I said before, I’ve cried a lot. My eyes are legitimately filling up with tears, as I type this. It still hurts. I’m still upset. I’m not really sure when that will go away. I’ve been taking it day by day and now it’s almost been five months, since I was escorted about by my manager of almost five years.
So what I have been doing, you may ask! Well, the answer is absolutely nothing. This has been my first real break in maybe six years. Honestly! This was my first time in so long, where I didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t have to be anywhere. I didn’t have to make sure someone was else was okay. I’m not sure if you guys remember but I used to say “this is my time of self reflection” a year or two back. Victoria circa 2016-2017 doesn’t have anything on Victoria 2018.
Life’s been hard, folks. These days are long. It’s weird how you can be so happy and so sad at the same time.
I really hit the jackpot on my friends and family. They’ve been so good to me. So patient. So kind. So gracious. It’s hard for me to feel like I’m underserving of all their love. I’m prideful; I never want to ask for help but I really needed the help, this year and I got it.
Things are finally looking up. I just got offered and accepted a job as a personal banker. It’s going to be a lot of learning and a lot of adjusting but the pay is g r e a t. That or I’m just used to being paid minimum wage job at the mall with my two college degrees.
I don’t have any fancy pictures to show you guys. I’m sorry, you guys can check out my instagram (instagram: @victoriathim), where I post the pictures, I force my friends and family to take of me.
Did I tell you I finally made a YouTube channel AND I’m posting. Yeah, I can’t believe it either. I was like what better way to start than VLOGMAS. Please, check me out. The only person that has seen these videos are my five year old nephew. Don’t be expecting too much. They’re shit. Like awful but I’m having fun. It’s gotten me out of bed.
I’m feeling hopeful, for the first time, in a long time. It’s only up from here.